11.06.2007

Subsequenter post written to answer reader's submitted questions:

Announcer:... annnnnnd we're back with LIVE! *hic*"




Data: "

Skywalker said... That pic... of Sidious... o.O Someone toss a blanket over his head.

and Dark Jedi Kriss said... LOL!"

me: "well, uh... believe it or not, I'm glad they aske-... er, mentioned this... . Sidious would indeed be better off with a blanket over his head... as long as it's not my wooby blankie."

Kelly: "Oh my! Ciera wants to know...

Yes...my question is: Do you need an intern? I'm a fairly decent navigator...we only got lost in Ohio once. I can make coffee. I'm not to good at oil changes though...apparently there's a dipstick I'm supposed to check? Well, I'm still learning that. If nothing else, I'd keep you amused..."

me: "Oh my goodness is right, Kelly! Jan, Intergalactic Aviator, whereever you are - your question in no longer the most sexually charged question submitted. I've never before seen so many euphamisms expressed in such a short blurb.

That said: Ciera, you should send a completed application and resume (with applicable photos) to:

Fluke's Saber & Helmet Polishers
c/o the Tri-Tentacled Xenophobe
42 Fluffer Way
Tamed Sarlaac, Tattooine
X6X9X

NEXT!"

Data: "Professor Xavier said...

Here's my question: What do you think the long term global ramifications will be
of Putin's flagrant stifling of democratic trends in the form (sic) Soviet
Union?

me: "Clearly Professor, Pootin's actions of bullying neighboring countries, silencing political opponents, and suppressing individual's rights are indeed 'stifling democracy' (if I may borrow your gently-put description) in a region where the people have been overly stifeled for far too long already.

While Pootin sets forth his own agenda of what is to become of the region, his followers are forced to follow, unable to protest or oppose for fear of their own lives and the lives of their families; Civil society in the area is constricted to the point of uncivility; Media freedoms are being quashed... and all the while Pootin himself is enjoying more and more freedom than at any other time in the history of his leadership.

So, to address your question regarding what I believe is the long-term global ramifications resulting from Pootin's atrocities:

We will all... each of us... everywhere on the planet... be forced to... pay higher prices for weaker Vodka.

Now, you didn't ask what my stance is regarding the situation, or for me to spell out my vision for reversing this horrifying trend that we're just now being able to recognize and fathom... so then... ok.

Next!"

Kelly:"Galen said...
My question is this.... How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck
could chuck wood?"

me: "Uh...

Well, by my calculations... roughly 18, give or take...

Next!"

Data: Jewel Offee said...

Can you stil not remember anything?"

me: "Remember anything? About what?"

*looks around puzzled*

Kelly: "TX said...

(Sky-TX) When would you like to be terminated?"

me: "Oh, I'm ready and willing whenever you are!"

Data: "(Dr. K.S. Basil PhD):

Why would you want to be terminated?"

me: Have you not seen that Terminatrix? Hubba-hub... uh...

Wait... hold on... I DO get to choose the positi-... er, the method in which I'm terminated ... right?
RIGHT?"

Kelly: "Mr. Butler said...

What's your stance on paper?"


me: "I'm for it. I mean... have you ever tried to wipe your butt with plastic? How about a pine cone?... a rock? Man, lemme tell ya... paper's where it's at.

Next!"

Gelman: "Jawa Juice said...

Okay, I got few questions…

Where do you stand on the Sand Tax?"

me: "I'm against it and it's against me. After an otherwise nice day on the beach... it can actually rub me raw."

JJ: "In your speeches will you use syntax?"

Me : "yes, use I plausible are to syntax speeching whenever evermore."

JJ: "If elected will you impose a Sin Tax?"

me: "Only if I can create or otherwise find an exemption for myself."

JJ: "At the beginning of all your speeches, will you remember to do a sound test?"

Me: "huh? Speak up little fella..."

JJ: "Oh….and what really did happen to my chicken pot pie?"

Me: "uh... NEXT!"

Data: "F.O.O.F. said...

Oh great and glorious Fluke. He who is so much apart of our lonely and disheveled lives, He who brings us meaning to our day to day monotony of D&D and video games, Oh great keeper of the blast helmet and golden socket wrench, Oh merciful one who we know reads all our day to day letters to you, as well as all our homemade videos and late night phone calls and cards made of paste and macaroni and still has the time and courtesy to completely ignore us…Oh wise and wonderful Flukizmo….
if elected…Will you bring forth a national “Friends of ol Fluke” holiday?
A F.O.O.F. day where all can celebrate the amazingness that is you while getting
an extra day off from school?(And can we come to the inauguration?)"

me: "Next!"

Kelly: "and SHI asked a question we all want you to answer...

What is your opinion on the Kama Sutra scandal?"

me: "Shi, your question puts me in a very awkward position. This is a scandal that I have passioante feelings about, and yet I must control myself in regards to it. There's a real need for adequate balance over this issue. While I find myself quite rigid and planted squarely in the middle of it, I must strive to maintain flexiblity.

I hope this answer was as good for you as it was for me."

Data: "Optimus Prime said...

What will you do to stop this Decepticon menace once and for all?

me: "Oh, I've got just the thing! I'm going to invite them over for dinner... one by one.... and put them in the chair reserved for my "Guest of Honor"

the death chair, is more like it... click to enlarge

teehee

Starbucker Out

13 comments:

Dr. Nemonok said...

Yes, I have a two part question: one, if elected to this position, how will you prepare your pitiful planet for the coming of my dark lord master Galactor the Evil Galactic Overlord, and two, do you prefer the chocolate or the rainbow sprinkles on your ice cream?

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Very deep answers

TX said...

and now we know

Vampirella said...

My question? Do you think you can win this election? How much turbulence do think it will cause the competition, what party are you running for and finally, can you autograph these for me please ;)

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

once again you have shown that you are the canidare with the best hair. and really isn't that what we want in our V.P.s

Ciera said...

hmmm...I'll have to update that resume...tighten the nobbie on my pen and polish it up a bit...

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

I hear there is rumor of Data and Kelly dating...

Professor Xavier said...

Weaker vodka??

Pootin's got to go.

Ciera said...

Fluke, sweetie, that resume is gonna have to wait...my Mom's in the hospital and so I'm a little occupied right now. But as soon as I can... ;-)

Jawa Juice said...

So what does it take to move up from new jedi order wannabe status and just be a new jedi order....am-a-be?

Obi-Wan Kenobi said...

It's always a nice thang to know I ain't the only one usin pinecones.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Tag!

Mua ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

captain koma said...

I must thank you on your agreement with my stand on meme's.

The real reason why I didn't meme anyone else was because everyone I knew had already been meme'd.

Well Henchy hadn't been meme'd but he'd have killed me if I did.